November 8, 2011
The First Thing You Know
No one told me. It’s one of the few things I figured out all by myself. When I put my hat in the ring to be a performer, songwriter and musician I started to notice it. Then one day the obvious started to sink in. Some people like me and others do not. That’s just the way it is. And there are always going to be ones who think I’m as good as anyone they’ve ever heard and others, even when talking about the same song or project, who think I totally miss the mark.
And it goes even further than that. In every part of life there are people who think I’m interesting, stimulating to be around and have a similar point of view, and at that same time others think I’m socially backward, boring and have very limited talents.
It was very liberating to open my eyes to this epiphany and start living with that fact. Mainly because not long after discovering the “some people like me and some don’t thing” came the reality that there is a very large audience out there and there is enough to go around. I was in a record shop way back when, looking the new Bob Dylan record, wishing I had a record player and enough money to buy the record and play it. I moved on down to see the next artists on the rack. A couple were standing in the same aisle, just a few feet from me. As they inched down to where I was the moment before, I overheard the girl saying to her friend, “ Oh gross, Bob Dylan”. I, of course, didn’t say anything, but it sure made me think. Who in the world thinks Dylan is gross? Well, that girl just said she does. It still blows my mind.
I’m friends with one of the world’s premier blues artist. A player in her band thinks I suck, even though I’m reasonably sure he doesn’t know much about my music. If he does, I don’t believe he thinks very much of it. Doesn’t matter. Every time I see him I know he’ll avoid me if at all possible, and if we do come in contact I tell him how much I enjoy his playing and he looks at me, says nothing, and walks to someone else, and seemingly, has a fine, spirited conversation. So, at that moment I think he sucks. And I know that ain’t good. But its become so off putting I can’t help myself. After a while I remember the first thing you know and I’m fine. It’s just part of life I go through.
I’ve come to think, and maybe this is a defense mechanism, it happens to everyone in all walks of life. Doctors, plumbers, chemists, mechanics, farmers, socialites, computer programers, veterinarians, politicians, TV hosts , actors, drivers, sports officials, teachers, contortion artists, toll booth collectors, policemen, chiropractors, bankers, translators and everyone one who is alive and interacts with any one. Somebody out there likes you and somebody don’t. I learned to get over it and do what I do. And again, I think every one does because I think it happens to us all. After all, ain’t it the first thing you know?
My mind’s ‘a ramblin’,
ks
